Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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