Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize