Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
