I think I am morally bankrupt
i just google imaged poop.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
