This is not my ceiling
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize