Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
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it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
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There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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