Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
