All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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