At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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