she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
