im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
