let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
