just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?