Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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