Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
