Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
