big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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