I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
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