after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
