Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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