I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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