People in love make me want to vomit
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I want her autograph on my taint
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
