we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
