I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
