if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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