I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
