I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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