I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
