He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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