So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
