when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Betty ford says i'm here all night
this beer tastes like vomit already
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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