I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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