I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.