You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.