Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...