I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs