We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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