Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
