We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He told me they were just razor bumps!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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