I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
