I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
