this beer tastes like vomit already
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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