Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
