I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize