I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
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We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
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Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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