Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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