airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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