covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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