the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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