I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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