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Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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