She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
