Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
