i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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