I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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