Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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