I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize