Porn is love you can see.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Who died my cat blue again?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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