i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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