I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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