I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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