no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
