Can Purell be used as lube?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
