I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
