rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
