I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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