You're so nebulous sometimes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
