Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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